6 Benefits of Being Alone

Over the last few
years, reading vastly
and drawing
inferences from
discussions with
friends has led me
to believe that a lot
of people suffer
from a syndrome
known as
"Monophobia". It is
an acute fear of
being alone and
having to cope
without a specific
person, or perhaps
any person, in close
proximity. This fear
in my opinion has made a lot of people make
wrong decisions, especially when it comes to
relationships.

Various psychologists have carried out series
of research to determine whether the fear of
ending up alone drives people to compromise
when choosing boyfriends/girlfriends and even
more importantly, life partners. They found
the stigma of being single so powerful that
many adults choose to be in "sub-standard"
relationships, or stick with one that is
breaking down rather than be alone/single.

More specifically and further buttressing
earlier opinions, a recent research carried out
by the department of psychology at the
University of Toronto say this profound fear
of being single may also explain why many
people stick with 'toxic' relationships that are
going nowhere.

This trend brings one question to mind; why do
we have to prioritize relationship status above
relationship quality, settling for less
responsive partners and remaining in
relationships that are less satisfying? While
discussing with a friend of mine, I cringed at
the types of experiences she has had to deal
with and was further perplexed by her choices;
for instance, she said that she would rather
remain in her unhappy relationship than break
up with her most times "absent" boyfriend.

This type of behavior is very common in our
society today, and I am quite sure most of us
know at least one person going through this or
even, are in this situation.

Contrary to what
many of us think, there are numerous benefits
of being single. Please permit me to walk you
through six of them.

ABILITY TO WORK ON ONESELF

There are higher chances of you seeking to
improve yourself when you are single than when
in a relationship. When you are single, you
realize that you are more interested in
becoming a better individual and you focus on
developing yourself mentally, emotionally, etc.
– You can engage in continuous self-
evaluations, identifying and working on your
weaknesses and shortcomings.

YOU CAN SAVE MORE TIME FOR YOURSELF

It is fun to send flirty messages back and
forth, but you can't imagine how much time the
typical couple spend on their phones –
exchanging IMs, tweets, phone calls or even
stalking each other (yes I know most of us do
this). Of course you could decide to be with a
partner who is independent but it would be
easier to find a dictionary in Patience's library
than to find such a creature.

So you cannot
begin to imagine how much time single people
have to engage in productive activities.

ABITY TO BECOME MORE SELF RELIANT

Have you ever been through a breakup so bad
that you couldn't function for days, weeks,
months or even years. Love is a powerful force
that could be both beautiful and damaging.

Strong feelings should not be silenced but
never let a single person become the single
reason for your existence or your happiness.

Don't! Why? Because sadly, few relationships
are destined for eternal success and I have
been lucky to witness a few in my relatively
short time on earth so far. So all I am saying is
that when you are single, you learn how to be
independent and how to make yourself happy
without anyone's assistance or contribution.

YOU CAN RELATE WELL WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Most of us know how relationships can become
so overwhelming that you have little time for
yourself let alone family (mostly extended)
and friends. We tend to prioritize that person
albeit naturally and forget family or friends
who have been with us through trying periods
in our lives. So you have more than enough time
to spend with your "peoples" when you are
single.

YOU CAN DO WhATEVER YOU WANt ANYTIME,ANYDAY,ANYMOMENT

When you are single, you can just wake up one
morning and decide to take a trip to Paris,
Seychelles, Ibiza, okay I'll stop. Can you do
this when you are in a relationship? No. Well
except you are dating a mannequin. When
single, you can decide to be spontaneous; go
fishing on the Atlantic Ocean, cycle from
Ikorodu to Lekki without having to explain
your actions to anyone.

YOU CAN FLIRT WITHOUT FEAR

I am sure many of us will like this one because
let's face it everyone flirts sometimes whether
knowingly or unknowingly but only single people
have the 'legal' right to engage in harmless/
innocent flirting every now and then. But is
there any such thing as innocent/harmless
flirting? Story for another article.

I could go on and on about the benefits of
being single but I will stop now because I think
everyone gets the point. This is by no means
encouraging anyone to turn down the chance of
being in a happy and committed relationship;
all I am saying is that if you are not happy and
it is looking like there won't be any light at the
end of that relationship tunnel, please walk
away and you will find your light.